Most of us have experienced the bully in the playground or workplace to some extent or another. But how can we explain this horrible behaviour to our children, and really understand what is happening to our young people, in a world where social platforms are accessible 24/7?
It is helpful perhaps to understand that there are a variety of factors that drive bullies. Despite the toxicity of these behaviours, understanding the psychological factors that help to develop a bully will help us to educate and protect ourselves, our children and young people.
No one becomes a bully for no reason. Often they feel out of control in their own lives, so inflicting physical or emotional harm on others helps them to feel a sense of control.
They may be bullied in their own homes by an older sibling or a parent or have been witness to poor relationships forming in the home. Causing hurt to others may be how they have learnt to express pain and anger.
When a person has very low self-esteem trying to maintain a social status at school is often the only way they can feel validation. Picking on someone they perceive to be better or different to themselves and ridiculing and bringing them down gives them a sense of power and control.
For some, gaining negative attention may be better than no attention at all, and this behaviour is actually a cry for help.
According to stopbullying.gov roughly one in five young people between the ages of 12 and 18 experience bullying. In today’s digital culture, much of this takes place online through cyberbullying.
Here at Stop.Breathe.Think we offer online therapy which will effectively reduce psychological distress. Having a professional counsellor to talk to about what you are experiencing is very important, learning new coping strategies that you can implement into your day to day life is invaluable.
